Suicide notes of Akutagawa Ryūnosuke

The suicide note of Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, "A Note to a Certain Old Friend", is just one of several notes he wrote before suicide. I translated them by referring to a Chinese translation, a Japanese transcription, and an extremely detailed study of the manuscripts, which contains way too much information.

Overview of the documents

From 芥川龍之介から妻・芥川文子宛ての遺書 Suicide note from Ryunosuke Akutagawa to Fumiko Akutagawa (2010)

芥川龍之介は1927（昭和2）年7月24日日曜日早朝に自殺した。つぎのとおり複数の「遺書」を残している。 

Ryunosuke Akutagawa committed suicide early in the morning on Sunday, July 24, 1927. I have left several "wills" as follows.

　　　a. 妻・芥川文子 宛て（原稿用紙2枚）
　　　b. 妻・芥川文子宛て断片1（同1枚）
　　　c. 妻・芥川文子宛て断片2（同1枚）
　　　d. 「わが子等に」 比呂志・多加志・也寸志 の息子3人がいた（同3枚）
　　　e. 友人・菊池寛 宛て（同2枚）
　　　f. 友人・小穴隆一 宛て（同5枚） そして
　　　g. 「或旧友へ送る手記」（友人・久米正雄 宛てだとされる）

a. To wife, Akutagawa Fumiko (2 Japanese manuscript sheets)
b. Fragment 1, addressed to wife Akutagawa Fumiko (1 sheet)
c. Fragment 2, addressed to wife and Fumiko Akutagawa (1 sheet)
d. "For my children", addressed to his three sons, Hiroshi, Takashi, and Yasushi (3 sheets)
e. To friend, Hiroshi Kikuchi (2 sheets)
f. To friend, Oana Ryuichi (5 sheets)
g. "A Note to a Certain Old Friend" (Likely addressed to a friend, Masao Kume)

Notes:

The three sons of Akutagawa are

1. Hiroshi Akutagawa (1920–1981) an actor, 
2. Takashi Akutagawa (1922–1945), killed as a student draftee in Burma.
3. Yasushi Akutagawa (1925–1989), a composer.

Note addressed to wife, Akutagawa Fumiko

一、　生かす工夫絶對に無用
　二、　絶命後小穴君に知らすべし。　絶命前には小穴君を苦しめ并せて世間を騷がす惧れあり。
　三、　絶命すまでは來客には「暑さあたり」と披露すべし。
　四、　下島先生と御相談の上、　自殺とするも病殺とするも可。　若し自殺と定まりし時は遺書(菊地宛)を菊地に与ふべし。　然らざれば燒き棄てよ。　他の遺書(文子宛)は如何に関らず披見し、　出來るだけ遺志に從ふやうにせよ。
　五、　遺物には小穴君に蓬平の蘭を贈るべし。　又義敏に松花硯(小硯)を贈るべし。
　六、　この遺書は直ちに燒棄せよ。

1. 絕對不要想辦法救我。 
2. 斷氣以後，請通知小穴君。斷氣前，怕使小穴君痛苦，也怕騷動社會。 
3. 斷氣前，對來客的消息是「中暑」。 
4. 和下鳥醫師商量之後，死因是自殺或病故都可以。如定為自殺，遺書（致菊池）就交給菊池。不然，就燒毀。其他的遺書（致文子），不管如何，要發表，以尊重死者遺志。
5. 遺物中，蓬平的蘭贈小穴君，松花硯（小硯）贈義敏。
6. 這封遺書，立即燒毀。

1. Absolutely do not attempt to resuscitate me.
2. After I have expired, please notify Mr Oana. Before I have expired, [if you were to notify others] I am worried it would cause pain to Mr Oana, and cause disturbance to society [so please don't do that].
3. Before I have expired, [if any visitor were to ask,] the message to any visitor is to be "heatstroke".
4. After consulting with Dr. Shimoshima, I think it is fine for the official cause of death to be suicide or illness. If it is determined to be suicide, the note (addressed to Kikuchi) is to be handed over to Kikuchi. Otherwise, it is to be consigned to flames. The other notes (addressed to Fumiko) should be published no matter what, in order to respect the deceased's will.
5. Among the things I'll leave behind, the orchid sumi-e by Saike Houhei is to be given to Mr Oana, and the Songhua inkstone (aka "small inkstone") is to be given to Yoshitoshi.
6. This suicide note is to be consigned to flames immediately.

Notes:

Dr Shimoshima is 

下島勲（明治３（1870）年～昭和22（1947）年）のこと。日清・日露戦争の従軍経験を持ち、後に東京田端で開業後、芥川の主治医・友人として、その末期を看取った。俳句もものし、井上井月の研究家としても知られる。芥川が辞世「水涕や鼻の先だけ暮れのこる」を残した相手でもある。

Shimoshima Isao (1870--1947). Having experience in the Sino-Japanese and Russo-Japanese War, he later opened as a medical doctor, and is friend of Akutagawa after the operation in Tabata, Tokyo. He is also known as a researcher for Inoue Itsuki, who also works on haiku. To him, Akutagawa left behind a haiku, "I merely survive by my runny nose.".

The "Songhua inkstone" is a famous species of Chinese inkstones. The full name is "Songhua River green stone inkstone (松花江緑石硯). They are made from a kind of green stone found in the Songhua River, and look like

Typographical notes

I won't translate more such notes. Here's just an exemplary sample.

やぶちゃん注：全２枚。松屋20×20＝200字詰原稿用紙。25㎝×17.5㎝（底本は画像に縮小が施されているため、底本の石割透氏の図版解題の数値を示す）。罫色は画像では暗い藍色に見える。下欄外右方に製造社内の原稿用紙規格を示すものと思われる『（ＳＭ印　Ｂ…１　　10…20）』の印刷、左欄外下方に独特の書体活字の『松屋製』の印刷。ペン書き（私にはブラックに見える）。冒頭２行空き。「燒き棄てよ。……」以下は２枚目。原稿用紙仕様は同一。

2 sheets in total. Matsuya 20×20=200 manuscript paper. 25cm x 17.5cm (Because the scale has been reduced in the image on the bottom, the figure shows the figure of Mr. Toru Ishiwari on the bottom). The ruled color looks dark blue in the image. On the right side of the bottom margin, "(SM seal B...1, 10...20)", which seems to indicate the in-house manuscript paper standard, is printed. Pen writing (looks black to me). The first two lines are empty. The second page starts at "Otherwise, it is to be consigned to flames". The manuscript paper specifications are the same throughout.

Fragment 1 addressed to wife, Akutagawa Fumiko

追記。この遺書は僕の死と共に文子より三氏に示すべし。尚又右の條件の実行せられたる後は火中することを忘るべからず。

　　再追記　僕は万一新潮社より抗議の出づることを惧るる爲に別紙に４を認めて同封せんとす。

追記。這封遺書，我死後，由文子出示三位。再，在實行右列條件後，不要忘記燒毀。

再追記，我怕萬一新潮社提出抗議，同封用另紙記明第 「4」點。

P.S.: After my death, Fumiko should show this note to the three people [It is unclear who he was talking about]. Furthermore, after implementing the conditions written in the right column, don't forget to consign it to flames.

P.P.S.: To avoid a protest from Shinchosha Publishing Company, I will write my point [4] on a separate sheet of paper.

Fragment 2 addressed to wife, Akutagawa Fumiko

　４　僕の作品の出版権は(若し出版するものありとせん乎)岩波茂雄氏に讓渡すべし。　(僕の新潮社に對する契約は破棄す｡)　但し装幀は小穴隆一氏を煩はすことを條件とすべし。　（若し岩波氏の承諾を得ざる時は既に本となれるものの外は如何なる書肆よりも出すべからず。）

　　　　　　　　　　　　芥川龍之介

4　我的作品的版權（如有出版作品），讓與岩波茂雄先生。 （我要拋棄和新潮社的合約。）我因愛夏目老師，希望和他在同一出版社出書。但是，要由小穴隆一先生裝訂為條件。（岩波先生如不承諾，除了已出版成冊的部分，不准任何書店出版。）至於出版期限等條件，完全委任岩波先生。這個問題，也有賴谷口先生的盡力了。

　　　　　　　　　　　　芥川龍之介

[4]　The copyright of my work (if there is a published work) is transferred to Mr. Shigeo Iwanami. (I want to abandon the contract with Shinchosha Publishing Company.) Because I love Mr. Natsume, I hope to publish with him at the same publishing house. However, it is conditional on that Mr. Oana Ryuichi doing the bookbinding. (If Mr. Iwanami does not promise this, then other than the already published parts, no bookstore may publish my works.) As for the publishing period, and other conditions of publication, I delegate fully to Mr. Iwanami. This issue must also depend on the efforts of Mr. Taniguchi [it is unknown who this is].

Akutagawa Ryūnosuke

Note addressed to sons

　　　　　　　わが子等に
　一人生は死に至る戦ひなることを忘るべからず。
　二従つて汝等の力を恃むことを勿れ。汝等の力を養ふを旨とせよ。
　三小穴隆一を父と思へ。従つて小穴の教訓に従ふべし。
　四若しこの人生の戦ひに破れし時には汝等の父の如く自殺せよ。但し汝等の父の如く　他に不幸を及ぼすを避けよ。
　五茫々たる天命は知り難しと雖も、努めて汝等の家族に恃まず、汝等の欲望を抛棄せよ。是反つて汝等をして後年汝等を平和ならしむる途なり。
　六汝等の母を憐憫せよ。然れどもその憐憫の為に汝等の意志を抂ぐべからず。是亦却つて汝等をして後年汝等の母を幸福ならしむべし。
　七汝等は皆汝等の父の如く神経質なるを免れざるべし。殊にその事実に注意せよ。
　八汝等の父は汝等を愛す。（若し汝等を愛せざらん乎、或は汝等を棄てて顧みざるべし。汝等を棄てて顧みざる能はば、生路も亦なきにしもあらず）

致兒子們
1. 不要忘記人生是要戰鬥到死。
2. 不要過份自恃，要以培養自己的能力為重心。
 3. 要把小穴隆一看做自己的父親。要遵從他的教訓。
4. 如果，在人生過程，打了敗仗，就像我這個父親，自殺吧。但是不要像父親，要避免造成他人的不幸。
5. 雖然天命茫茫，很難知悉，你們一定要努力不依賴家族， 要拋棄慾望。這反而會造成你們年後的平和。
 6. 要憐憫你們的母親。但是，不要為了憐憫而亂了心志。這反而是你們能在往後使母親幸福的路。
7. 你們不要像父親神經質。尤其，應注意這個事實。
8. 父親愛你們。（如不愛你們，就會拋棄你們而不顧，如拋棄你們而不顧，我也不致沒有一條生路。）

To my sons

1. Don't forget that life should be a fighting to the death.
2. Don't be too self-confident, focus on cultivating your abilities.
3. Treat Oana Ryuichi as your father. Follow his lesson.
4. If, in the course of life, you are defeated, just commit suicide like your father. But don’t cause misfortune to others like your father.
5. Although destiny is vast and difficult to perceive, you must work hard not to depend on your family, and to let go of desires. It will give you peace in the years to come.
6. Pity your mother. However, don't disturb your will and aspirations for the sake of pity. This is how you can make your mother happy in the future.
7. Don't be neurotic like your father. Take particular note of this fact.
8. Father loves you. (If I didn’t love you, I would have abandoned you without a care. If I have abandoned you without a care, I won’t have been forced to die without a way out.)

Note addressed to Hiroshi Kikuchi

　一他に貸せしもの、――― 鶴田君にアラビア夜話十二巻あり。

　二他より借りしもの、――― 東洋本庫よりFormosa（台湾）一册。　勝峯晋風氏より｢潮音｣數册。　下島先生より印數顆、　室生君より印二顆。　(印は所持者に見て貰ふべし｡)

　三沖本君に印譜を作りて貰ふべし。　わが追善などに句集を加へて配るもよし。

　四石塔の字は必ず小穴君を煩はすべし。

　五あらゆる人々の赦さんことを請ひ、　あらゆる人々を赦さんとするわが心中を忘るる勿れ。

1. I have lent something: 12 volumes of The Arabian Nights to Mr. Tsuruta [Tsuruta Kyuusaku 鶴田久作].
2. I have borrowed some things: One volume on Formosa (Taiwan) from Tōyō Bunko. A few volumes of Chōon from Katsumine Shinpu. A few printed items from Mr. Shimoshima, two printed items from Mr. Murō. 　(The printed items should be seen by the owner.)
3. Make a collection of stone-rubbing [印譜] and dedicate it to Mr. Okimoto. You can also add a collection of phrases from eulogies.
4. Please definitely trouble Mr. Oana with the task of writing the text for my gravestone.
5. I ask for the forgiveness of all people, and I forgive all people. In your hearts forget me not.

Note:

The gravestone of Akutagawa is, as traditional, a simple "Grave of Akutagawa Ryūnosuke" [芥川龍之介墓], the script written by Oana.

Note addressed to Oana Ryuichi

僕等人間は一事件の為に容易に自殺などするものではない。僕は過去の生活の総決算の為に自殺するのである。しかしその中でも大事件だつたのは僕が二十九歳の時に秀夫人と罪を犯したことである。僕は罪を犯したことに良心の呵責は感じてゐない。唯相手を選ばなかつた為に（秀夫人の利己主義や動物的本能は実に甚しいものである。）僕の生存に不利を生じたことを少からず後悔してゐる。なほ又僕と恋愛関係に落ちた女性は秀夫人ばかりではない。しかし僕は三十歳以後に新たに情人をつくつたことはなかつた。これも道徳的につくらなかつたのではない。唯情人をつくることの利害を打算した為である。（しかし恋愛を感じなかつた訣ではない。僕はその時に「越し人」「相聞」等の抒情詩を作り、深入りしない前に脱却した。）僕は勿論死にたくない。しかし生きてゐるのも苦痛である。他人は父母妻子もあるのに自殺する阿呆を笑ふかも知れない。が、僕は一人ならば或は自殺しないであらう。僕は養家に人となり、我儘らしい我儘を言つたことはなかつた。（と云ふよりも寧ろ言ひ得なかつたのである。僕はこの養父母に対する「孝行に似たもの」も後悔してゐる。しかしこれも僕にとつてはどうすることも出来なかつたのである。）今僕が自殺するのは一生に一度の我儘かも知れない。僕もあらゆる青年のやうにいろいろの夢を見たことがあつた。けれども今になつて見ると、畢竟気違ひの子だつたのであらう。僕は現在は僕自身には勿論、あらゆるものに嫌悪を感じてゐる。
芥川龍之介

　P.S.　僕は支那へ旅行するのを機会にやつと秀夫人の手を脱した。（僕は洛陽の客桟にストリントベリイの「痴人の懺悔」を読み、彼も亦僕のやうに情人に※(「言＋墟のつくり」、第4水準2-88-74)を書いてゐるのを知り、苦笑したことを覚えてゐる。）その後は一指も触れたことはない。が、執拗に追ひかけられるのには常に迷惑を感じてゐた。僕は僕を愛しても、僕を苦しめなかつた女神たちに（但しこの「たち」は二人以上の意である。僕はそれほどドン・ジユアンではない。）衷心の感謝を感じてゐる。

我們人不是那麼容易只為一件事去自殺。我自殺是想對過去的生活做一個總結算。其中，最重大的事件是，我二十九歲那年和秀夫人所犯的罪。我並不會因為犯了罪，而對良心有所苛責。只是因為沒有選對對象（秀夫人的自私和動物的本能實在嚴重。）而對自己的生存產生不少傷害而後悔。其實，和我墜入戀愛關係的女性，並不只秀夫人一人。但是，我在三十歲以後，不再有新情人。這並不是道德面的考量。只是計算交情人的利害得失而已。（但是，並非沒有戀愛的感覺。那時，我寫了〈越し人〉、〈相聞〉幾首抒情詩，在未陷入之前脫身了。）當然，我不想死，但是活著就是痛苦。別人或許會笑我說我是個笨蛋，明明有父母妻子為什麼還要自殺。如果，只我一人，我不會自殺吧。我被收養以後，沒有說過任何任性的話。（其實是說不出口。我後悔，對兩位養父母盡「孝行」之類的事。這，我是完全沒有辦法改變。）現在，我要自殺，可能是一生唯一一次的任性。我曾經像青年們做過種種的夢。但是，現在回想起來，畢竟只是一個瘋人之子而已吧。現在，當然我對自己，也對一切感到厭惡。

P.S. 我趁去支那旅行的機會，和秀夫人分手了。（我在洛陽的客棧讀史特林堡的《癡人的懺悔》，知道他和我一樣，對情人說謊，不禁苦笑起來。）此後，我連手指都不再碰她。但是，她那種執拗的追逐，一直困擾我。我對那些愛我，卻不折騰我的女神們（這個「們」 字，表示兩人以上。我還不能和唐璜相比。）衷心感激。

It's not so easy to commit suicide just for one thing. I committed suicide to make a final settlement of the bank account of my life. Among them, the most significant incident was the crime I committed with Mrs. Hide at the age of 29. I will not be harsh on my conscience for committing a crime. I only regret that I didn't choose the right person (Mrs. Hide's selfishness and animal instincts are really severe.), allowing her to do serious damage to my survival. In fact, there were more women who fall in love with me than Mrs. Hide, but after I was 30 years old, I no longer have had any new lover. This is not out of moral consideration. It's just a calculation of the pros and cons of love affairs. (However, it is not that I did not feel the tugs of love. At that time, I wrote several lyric poems such as "Getting over the Person" and "So I heard", and got out before I fell into these traps of love.) Of course, I don't want to die, but living is suffering. Others might laugh at me and say that I am a fool, for why else would someone, who still has parents and a wife, commit suicide? If I were alone, I would not commit suicide. After I was adopted, I did not say any wayward words. (In fact, I was incapable of saying such things. I regret paying "filial piety" towards my two adopted parents, but I have absolutely no way to change such a state of affairs.) Now that I am about to commit suicide, it may be the only wayward action in my life. I used to dream like young people. However, in retrospect, I'm after all just a son of a madman. Now of course I feel only disdain for myself and everything.

P.S. While traveling to China, I took the opportunity to break up with Mrs. Hide. (I was reading The Confession of a Fool by August Strindberg at an inn in Luoyang. I knew he was lying to his lover like I was, and couldn't help laughing bitterly.) After that, I stopped touching her even with my fingers. However, her persistent pursuit has always bothered me. I am sincerely grateful to the goddesses who loved me, but did not torture me (the plural here merely indicates "at least two". I can't compare with Don Juan.).

Note:

"Mrs. Hide" is Hideshgeko [秀しげ子], a poet, whom Akutagawa calls "a person of anxious distress" (愁人), and they had an affair with the promise that they would not invade each other's private lives. Over time, the promise was obsoleted, and she became a full-blown stalker, forcing Akutagawa to flee to China (see Chapter 26 of A fool's life). She has a considerable influence in the later years of Akutagawa, becoming a recurring motif in In a Groove, appearing in chapter 21 of A fool's life as "a madman's daughter", and appearing as "a mummy-like naked woman" and "a god of revenge, or a madman's daughter" in chapter 3 of Cogwheels.

Akutagawa was adopted. His mother experienced a mental illness shortly after his birth, so he was adopted and raised by his maternal uncle, Dōshō Akutagawa, from whom he received the Akutagawa family name.

The poems 越し人 and 相聞 are dedicated to 片山廣子, the last lover of Ryunosuke.

14歳年上の上流夫人で、アイルランド文学翻訳者としても名を知られていた廣子と芥川の軽井沢での出会い、そして情熱的な手紙のやりとり。

芥川が「才知の上にも格闘できる女に遭遇した」（「或阿呆の一生」）と書き、菊池寛が「最もすぐれた日本女性」とその才能を絶賛した廣子は、芥川の死後世間との関わりを絶ってひっそりと生きますが、最晩年にエッセイ集と歌集を刊行して高い評価を受け、79歳で亡くなります。

Ms. Hiroko, who was 14 years older than Akutagawa, was known as an Irish literature translator. They met in Karuizawa, and exchanged passionate letters.

Akutagawa wrote (in A fool's life) that he "encountered a woman who could fight even with wisdom". and Kikuchi Kan praised her as "the best Japanese woman". After the death of Akutagawa, she lived quietly without any relation to the world, but in the last year she published an essay collection and a songbook and received high acclaim, and died at the age of 79.

Bibliographical notes

Translator: 鄭清文 (Zheng Qingwen)

1932年生。台灣重量級小說家。著有多部小說作品，並曾獲國家文藝獎、美國桐山環太平洋書卷獎等獎項。

Born in 1932. Taiwanese heavyweight novelist. Author of many novels, and has won national literary awards, the United States Tongshan Pacific Rim Book Award, and other awards.

Bibliographical notes of the Japanese transcription:

底本：《芥川龍之介全集　第二十三卷》
 1998（平成10）年1月29日発行
 入力：もりみつじゅんじ
校正：土屋隆
2008年12月11日作成
青空文庫製作：
這些檔案，由網路圖書館青空文庫（http://www.aozora.gr.jp/）作
成。輸入、校對、製作都由各位志工完成。 

Original: The Complete Works of Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, Volume 23
Published on January 29, 1998
Transcribing: もりみつじゅんじ
Correction: 土屋隆
Created on December 11, 2008
Aozora literature archive production:
These files are made by the Aozora literature archive (http://www.aozora.gr.jp/). Input, proofreading and production are all done by volunteers.